When someone is disconnected from their emotions, like having difficulty acknowledging anger, sadness, or fear, those emotions can become stuck inside their body. I call these feelings, “frozen feelings.” Emotions can become lodged inside the person or show up in my minds eye as pictures, in their energy field and in their homes. Emotions are alive; they are powerful sources of energy that can envelop a space permanently even after the person has left that environment.
Sometimes in addition to having emotions suppressed in the body, one projects them into the environment or onto other people such as spouses or children. This can have damaging effects on those people and one’s relationships with them. It creates confusion and can impose a kind of invisibility on those who have been projected upon.
A young couple named Mark and Sally, called me to set up a session because Mark feared he had been seeing a ghost at their house. He described this ghost as an older, gray haired, man in his 60’s, wearing a red and white, checkered shirt. While glancing through the curtains, in his upstairs bedroom window, Mark always saw this figure wondering around his yard near the garage and garden tools. When I asked him if he had any feelings before, during or after, seeing the image, he said he felt somehow safe in a weird way yet strangely uncomfortable. He said it was unsettling and he was concerned about his son and daughter.
Sally confessed her concern regarding their 3 year old son who had seen and been frightened by seeing, the ghost in his bedroom. I asked Sally what was going in their relationship. Could she characterize it as a happy marriage? She was silent for a moment and I felt both of their discomfort with this question. I could hear them adjusting themselves in their chairs.
Sally said they had had financial trouble for months ever since Mark had changed jobs. She said he had become withdrawn and short tempered whenever she approached him. Mark was defensive and I felt he was hiding something from Sally. I saw it in his stomach area, sometimes called the power center, that he was hiding his fear. He was hiding his fear of not feeling adequate as a man. I saw that he had been hiding this for a long time. I delivered this observation to them and paused to let them process it. I felt the tension rise before I felt a release, and then a sigh came from Mark.
I continued to look at the energy of the situation, when it became clear, that the image they were seeing, the older man in the red and white, checkered shirt, was a projection of Mark’s. I told them that I saw that it was a part of Mark that he couldn’t own, and that he longed for. Sally spoke up and said that Mark often looked up to older men as father figures. I saw that this being, he was seeing, was like the father he never had but desperately wanted to be. Looking more deeply revealed some of Marks projected fears hovering across the boys back. This 3 year old was carrying some of his beloved father’s fears, and anger, in hopes that he might heal his father, or lift his father’s burdens so he’d have room to be happy about him. I also saw and then revealed to them, that their daughter carried sadness, perhaps Sally’s sadness.
I mentioned this to Mark and asked him if this was familiar, had he done this with his father too? “Yes” he said, “my father was critical and cold most of the time.” Mark continued telling me that he had wanted to give his children a more loving father than he had had but he gets worried. He said that when he gets worried about money, and his job, he has trouble being happy about seeing their faces. When he sees their faces looking back at him, with smiles and hope, he wants to give them more than he fears he can.
I asked Mark to describe the male qualities of the ghost he’d been seeing. He said, “He is strong and competent. He knows how to work and clearly understands tools, which is why he gravitates towards mine. And he looks secure in his manhood.” I ask Mark if he thinks he could mimic those attributes and would he feel comfortable asking this image, that he has created, to help him learn to be the man he wants to be? Mark said he thought he could do that.
I did as much energy work on the family as I could, and then I encouraged Mark and Sally, to go into family therapy. I suggested Mark find a men’s parenting, support group, where he could work on his self-esteem along with his parenting skills.
Energy work is deeply powerful and clarifying confusion is freeing. Intuitive work has profound and lasting results. I enjoy my work. I invite you to call me for a session.